I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
