Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
