I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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