very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You can't motorboat a personality
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
