I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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