Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
