I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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