Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
