fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Apparently you make a good broom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
