So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
