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• (510): View more from California

  watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  SHUT IT DOWN.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  why would you restrict a girl of that

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• (530): View more from California

  Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line

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• (707): View more from California

  Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence

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• (448): View more from

  sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.

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