Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
