My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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