I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
