it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize