We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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