I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
