he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
