Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
