Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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