help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
