Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Your penis caused this!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
