Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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