i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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