I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
