I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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