Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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