I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Oh god it's open bar.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
