hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
