dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
