What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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