I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
