There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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