weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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