Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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