She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This toilet bowl is my home.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
