whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
