Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
