we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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