My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
