Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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