thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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