Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
