call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
These tits shall not be calmed
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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