From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I believe in your delicious
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
