Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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