thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
