you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
