The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
