i just google imaged poop.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
