Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize