..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize