i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
