he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
