his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
