I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
