Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
