sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
