This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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