im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
