So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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