Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
