My nipple is on Facebook.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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