my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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